The protagonists in mentoring programmes: the Mentee
The search for a name for the Mentor’s ‘travelling companion’ has been long and arduous. It is not easy to find a word that could describe that critical role in the mentoring relationship while conveying the emotions of someone lucky enough to have such a special person in their life.
We believe no one has yet come up with a compelling name. The most used is derived from the Mentor utilising the suffix ‘ee’: Mentee. Like many English words of French origin, such as ‘employee’ or ‘trainee’, the suffix ‘ee’ indicates the person undergoing a process.
Therefore, ‘Mentee’ means ‘one to whom someone is mentoring’.
When we say ‘Mentee’, we emphasise the special relationship that binds this person to the Mentor rather than recognising them as an irreplaceable partner in the mentoring relationship.
The ancient Romans used to say ‘Nomen omen’, i.e. ‘In the name lies the destiny’, and the fate of the Mentee seems to be that of a secondary figure living off the reflected light of the Mentor. Yet those who do mentoring programmes know very well that a good Mentee makes a good Mentor.
A generous Sponsor, an experienced Programme Manager and a good number of well-trained and willing Mentors are not enough for the success of a Mentoring Programme. You must carefully select and train talented and eager Mentees who will work hard to generate long-term individual and collective development.
How can you tell if a person can be a good Mentee?
Experience and research conducted by several authors indicate several personal characteristics predicting productive mentoring relationships:
- The value the person places on learning: it makes them eager to learn and ready to invest time and energy in the programme;
- Stability in emotional relationships: it is a solid basis on which to build a balanced and harmonious mentoring relationship;
- Open-mindedness: it is an indispensable prerequisite for taking full advantage of the mentoring relationship to explore different horizons and perspectives;
- Extroversion: it helps to share thoughts and emotions and transform them into action;
- Communication skills: they enable the person to interact effectively with the Mentor to generate change and growth.
However, good mentoring attitudes are not enough.
It is fundamental for the Mentee to take ownership of the learning process. It is up to them, in fact, to decide how best to use the time, knowledge, experience, feedback and advice that the Mentor makes available to them.
In a cultural context where, since childhood, we learn by following teachers’ directives, we are not used to experiencing learning as protagonists. A successful mentoring programme must provide adequate training for mentees. They must be equipped with a set of skills they probably are not used to apply in a training context, such as:
- Charting the path they intend to follow: Mentees need to learn to visualise themselves in the future and trace the direction towards that objective;
- Lead the relationship: Mentees need to be able to plan and schedule sessions, identify with Mentors the issues they want to work on and openly discuss any issues that arise;
- Demonstrating gratitude: Mentees need to become aware of the value of Mentors’ time and energy, make wise use of those and let the Mentors feel appreciation for all they share.
Being a good Mentee, then, requires some commitment and effort. The reward, though, can be tremendous. An effective mentoring programme can provide Mentees with benefits that go far beyond expanding their professional knowledge and skills, like:
- Having the opportunity to identify and discuss potential career and personal developments, setting ambitious but realistic goals by reinforcing their confidence in their own means and capabilities;
- Deepening their understanding of their organisation or industry’s formal and informal structures by improving their position and expanding their network.
In MentorLab programmes, we make sure to give the best support to both Mentors and Mentees. To make the mentoring process a worthwhile and memorable experience, training, preparing, and supporting both parties involved is essential.
